Makeover #5 DERMATOLOGY PERSONAL STATEMENT - Part III (Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3)

AFTER -This Personal Statement has survived! Good pulses and spontaneous respirations! [First Page]

The love of skin and its disorders drives me toward the dermatology profession. My interest in the field helped me to focus on it during my medical school career. The viral exanthems and rashes of children during my pediatrics rotation, the unusual PUPPS and Herpes Gestationes presentations found in pregnancy, the self-inflicted skin lesions present in the psychiatric population, and the dermatological presentations of systemic diseases in my internal medicine rotation all fascinated me. During my family medicine rotation, aware of my love for dermatology the attendings directed their dermatology cases my way. I loved the challenge of diagnosing things my peers found puzzling. I was drawn to the subtle manifestations of diseases on the skin and the consequences they have on each patient. Drawn to the emotional rewards of removing a malignant skin lesion or treating a depressed teenager with acne, gave me more reason to pursue dermatology. Early on in my medical school career, I discovered that working with patients of all ages and backgrounds as a physician is essential to my happiness. I’ve enjoyed working with the elderly population from working in a nursing home during high school to volunteering for Hospice during college and medical school. I have spent 2 years as an elementary school reading tutor and volunteered for a year in the NICU and Pleasant Medical Center at the University of Medicine. Working with teenagers for several summers as a camp counselor has also proven to be rewarding and as well as insightful. All encompassing, Dermatology allows me the opportunity to work with the pediatric, geriatric and oncologic populations. Diverse and ever changing, the field of dermatology excites me and will continue to excite me throughout my career. [Much more relevant introduction, dropping the part about looking at skin lesions on the writer's mother as a 14 year old child. This one really starts off by talking about dermatology from the beginning and interest in the field right from the start. Much much better!]

Numerous life experiences have prepared me for this field. Traveling across the country with 35 teenagers for Big Tours, working as a Resident Assistant in a college dormitory and acting as a camp counselor at an active mountain camp exemplify my ability to work well with others. The oldest of four children, I have taken on the role of responsibility and leadership in my life. On an individual level, I have mentored a young child for the past several years, which has impacted us both greatly. Outside of medicine, I found personal growth and life changes while whitewater rafting down the Snake River, water skiing on Lake Tahoe and hiking through Bryce Canyon. These extracurricular activities help to encompass the person I am. I am not only adventurous and easy to get along with but I am also a dedicated hard worker who pays attention to details. [This paragraph also works much better in this place, ties in and transitions well with the rest of the essay, instead of sounding like an afterthought.]

Dedication to my goals and the hard work to follow it through are demonstrated by my active involvement in several research projects in college and medical school which have prepared me for dermatologic research. Currently working on a paper with the University of Medicine Department of Dermatology on malignant melanoma and sentinel lymphadenectomy, the study of skin malignancies enthralls me. I am also focused on completing a Merkel Cell Cancer paper and submitting it to CME for publication. I enjoy any small contributions I am able to make to influence patient treatment and education.
Now during my dermatopathology rotation, a new aspect of dermatology has come to excite me. To biopsy a lesion with clinical suspicion only to have it confirmed/refuted by histological findings is the perfect clinical-pathologic marriage. Only then can one truly make a diagnosis with certainty. I have enjoyed this ideal and am leaning towards a dermatopathology fellowship upon the completion of my dermatology residency. Ideally, I will supplement my career as a practicing clinician by reading my own slides. My dedication and love for this field will make me an asset to the profession. [Solid paragraph that details the writer's interest in the field and what has prepared the student for a dermatology residency.]

My interest in dermatology began at a young age, yet my subsequent experiences in the profession have helped me decide, unequivocally, that dermatology is the path for me. I strive for excellence and personal growth in my life. I empathize with the pruritic lesions of atopic dermatitis, painful lesions of bullous pemphigous and the emotionally scarring lesions of acne. The desire to treat and heal these lesions with their accompanying medical and social problems drive me to become a successful Dermatologist. [Overall a much more mature and powerful essay containing most of what the writer started with, and changing the flow and emphasis of the essay.]

[Back to Page 1]