Residency Match Personal Statement Makeover Rewrite Radiology Part 2

RESIDENCY PERSONAL STATEMENT SAMPLE HELP
CODE BLUE! We take a residency personal statement from pulseless and cold to normal sinus rhythm ! Medfools Edits Personal Statments for your amusement!

The Fool Takes Essays from Flatline to Normal Sinus!

The Fool Takes Essays from Flatline to Normal Sinus!
personal statement library 
  
BEFORE (First Edit)- Calling for 1 Amp of Epi [Next Page]

I found medicine in Europe. My future as a doctor was etched in the sky over the Coliseum, and in the walls of the Roman Imperial Forum. [This sounds kind of corny… consider dropping this sentence.]I felt certain of it.

Before visiting Europe, I could never have imagined choosing between the multitude of career paths that lay before me. My childhood had been filled with incredibly diverse experience, including rigorous academics, piano and guitar lessons, opera, the theater, and an abundance of travel.I had entered college undecided, contemplating law, archeology, and music, as well as medicine.[Not necessary for the applicant to spend time discussing pre-college thougths, really this essay is for residency, and little that the candidate did back then is relevant for a residency essay.] I found medicine in Europe. My future as a doctor was etched in the sky over the Coliseum, and in the walls of the Roman Imperial Forum. [This sounds kind of corny… consider dropping this sentence.]I felt certain of it.

Before visiting Europe, I could never have imagined choosing between the multitude of career paths that lay before me. My childhood had been filled with incredibly diverse experience, including rigorous academics, piano and guitar lessons, opera, the theater, and an abundance of travel.I had entered college undecided, contemplating law, archeology, and music, as well as medicine.[Not necessary for the applicant to spend time discussing pre-college thougths, really this essay is for residency, and little that the candidate did back then is relevant for a residency essay.] During my senior year at Some University in Metropolis, I traveled to Rome to study art history, the Italian language, and other liberal arts subjects. Living outside my usual context caused me to look inward, to discover who I was and who I wanted to become. Medicine to me represented the crossroads of life in which the paths of art, science, the humanities, as well as the never ending quest for knowledge met. I could only see my future self as a doctor. [The writer is spending too much time explaining why she wanted to be a doctor. Remember ALL the applicants are going to be MDs and focus needs to be on Radiology, and the more non-traditional educational experience. Also, the essay is a bit too “story-book”]

I decided to study medicine in European City, Europe, because my father had beenwas born there, and because my own international experiences had been overwhelmingly positive. A six-year program at Medical University, a six-year program, incorporated a rigorous curriculum with oral examinations. Coming from a different academic system of learning, I had to workworked extremely hard just to keep pace with my peers. Struggling to learnwhile learning a new language and culture was humbling. Additionally, living in a challenging post-communist Eastern European setting. presented daily challenges. Fumbling through endless lines and needless burocracies seemed overwhelming at times, but I still managed to excel in my studies. [No real reason to talk about E. Europe politics here] At Medical University, I was especially grateful for the multinational student body, which allowed me to learn about the different cultures of my colleagues. This allowed me to enhance my cultural sensitivity, which will help me converse easily with patients and couleges of all cultures.

While my pre-clinical training in Europe was strong, I knew I would optimize my clinical exposure by entering a program that would allow me to perform my clerkships in the U.S.. After all, the U.S. is the world leader in medical practice and technology. I transferred to a [which school?]Caribbean school, which has allowed me to do my clinical training close to my friends and family in my home city of Metropolis.

While I found medicine in Europe, I found radiology in Metropolis. During my third year clerkships, I began to take great interest in the field. Throughout my rotations in internal medicine, pediatrics, and surgery, I found myself gravitating toward the radiology department to look at my patients’ films. I would watch as watch as the radiologist would discuss the location of a meniscal tear with theorthopodorthopedist, review the MR angiography of the brain with the neurologist, and discuss an OB ultrasound with the family practitioner, all within a matter of minutes. I was impressed by the sheer scope of the radiologist’s knowledge. In my eyes, radiology became the most complete field of medicine. I began to feel that the radiologist’s knowledge of anatomy, pathology, and physiology was deeper than that of other specialists. Additionally, I enjoyed the technological aspect of the field. Having grown up with a strong background in computers, radiology seemed the ideal intersection of the body with technology. In particular, I found myself interested in virtual colonoscopy, MRCP, MR angiography, and CT guided tissue sampling. In a field where the primary role of the physician is that of a consultant, interpersonal skills are imperative. I believe that my personal experiences have helped prepare me to excel in this aspect. [Good. Here we hear some about the applicant’s interest in radiology.]

Though I had to cross an ocean to learn my future was in medicine, I needed only to return home to fall in love with a specialty. I know now that radiology is my future, and I look forward to that future with intense anticipation.

[Overall, the writer needs to somewhat limit the “discovery of medicine”, because everyone is going to be an MD. Focussing instead on the applicant’s unique schooling will make a positive out of a potential negative (studying outside the US). How did that experience help the writer? How will it help her as a physician in the future?

Then, the writer does a good job of explaining a desire/interest in Radiology.
From there, residency program directors would like to hearabout career goals and training goals.In addition, we don’t hear enough about this candidates strengths as an applicant to a radiology residency.]From there, residency program directors would like to hearabout career goals and training goals.In addition, we don’t hear enough about this candidates strengths as an applicant to a radiology residency.]
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